GTFO horoscopes

Your sign says: get moving, get living and GTFO of your comfort zone.

Aquarius 21 Jan – 19 Feb

The days are getting longer, the sun has come out (if only briefly) and London has collectively decided life is worth living again. This is your sign to hop on the bandwagon and be the yes-man: go to the beer garden, wake up early for the walk. Put yourself out there. Hibernation is over and it’s time to be social.

Pisces 20 Feb – 20 March 

Children of the sea, it’s time to stop coasting the waves. Stand up for yourself (literally, get up!) and go find a hill with a view. While you’re at it, consider the figurative mountains you wish to climb this season. This is the time for goal setting. Remember, your problems seem bigger and your life seems smaller when you never leave your room, so GTFO! 

Aries 21 March – 20 April 

Let me guess firechild, you’ve been clinging to what no longer serves you – like an overpriced coffee subscription where the perks are ever-dwindling? Like that pile of clothes you swear you’re going to sell on Vinted, but never do? If you’re deep in the dating-app trenches, let it go. It’s cooler to approach your crush in person anyway. 

Taurus 21 April – 21 May

It’s time to address the elephant in the room. The tension in your friendship group desperately needs airing out – whether your housemate has been slacking on the bin rota, said something out of pocket in the Inferno’s smoking area, or has been flakey when organising dates for the next group trip – it’s time to sort it out. People appreciate the honesty and vulnerability it takes to address concerns, and for the right friends, it will only strengthen your bond.

Gemini 22 May – 21 June

Gemini, your ability to adapt is breathtaking but draining. You’ve started the year with all guns blazing, and big milestones are coming your way. Your career is popping OFF. But, just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. You are too entrenched; there’s a big wide world outside of those office walls. You have been eating a sandwich over your keyboard for months, please go eat outside. Between you and me, your co-workers are NOT appreciating the smell.

Cancer 22 June – 22 July

Cancer, my love, you’ve been avoiding things. No number of distractions will make the change for you. Take a breath and focus. You are in the mood to argue. Perfect. Argue with yourself, specifically, the part of yourself saying “I’ll go tomorrow”. You won’t go tomorrow. You know this. Ditch the comfort zone, speak your mind, and learn what London has to offer. 

Leo 23 July – 23 Aug

Let’s hear your ROAR, lions! Summer is within reach. Lucky news awaits you, but you will only find it if you’re moving. Keep your eyes open and your energy high, because an unexpected opportunity could appear when you least expect it. Trust your instincts, take the first bold step, and the path ahead will start to light up.

Virgo 24 Aug – 23 Sept

Virgo, this is a month of change for you. The world around you is transforming from the icy grey of winter and blooming with new beginnings. Rise like the daffodils and meet challenges head on. Some things are ending, in favour of new life and new beginnings. Honour them with an aimless wander and a slightly-too-expensive coffee.  

Libra 24 Sept – 23 Oct

Life might feel a bit messy right now, like the bottom of a tote bag – house keys tangled in earphones squashed in the book you swear you’re going to read on your commute. The good news is that things are about to get untangled. Take some time to get organised and apply yourself to the goals you’ve been putting off. Your efforts will be rewarded.

Scorpio 24 Oct – 22 Nov

This is your sign to create pockets of joy in your day. Take the scenic route, jazz up your breakfast, stop to smell the daffodils. You are far more likely to feel creatively inspired when you look up and take in the world around you, rather than folding into yourself to gaze at that tiny silver screen for hours on end.

Sagittarius 23 Nov – 21 Dec

Yes, it’s sweet to reminisce about the past, but if you’re bogged down in the depths of your camera roll (desperately missing the simpler times of 2016) then you’re not living in the now! Ask yourself, do you have any hobbies outside of media consumption? Get crafting, foraging, bell ringing. Do something. Stuck for ideas? Check out GTFO for some inspo. 

Capricorn 22 Dec – 20 Jan

A big decision is approaching. No, not which meal deal to choose today. We’re talking serious life stuff. Get outside to clear your head and approach tough choices with calmness. Remember, the only wrong decision is no decision.

Header Image by Michael J. Bennet on Wikimedia Commons.

Illustrations by Eve Williams

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